Wondering

Left 

A high stack

Of little deaths

As I went,

Made it here, nonetheless;

 

How many

 Lifetimes are 

Left?

 

 River of Existence

Inching forward in morning traffic

Of school drop-off,

I peer into each car passing opposite—

See nameless beings:

Expressionless in solitude,

Smiling, smoking, singing, 

Funerary stares,

Maps of frustration;

While a child seated in back

Gazes out the window in dream…

Humans, so self-absorbed,

Distraught, bored, emotional,

Lost in boxes of mechanized metal;

Worlds, timeline ink-points;

Infinite, meaningless figures

Adding up to utter rotation;

Replacement, triviality.

 

I hope the coffee in the breakroom

Hasn’t been drained by the time I get there…

Don’t want to be the one

Having to make another.

 

Wandering through history

Pass slaves toiling their way

To unmarked graves;

To Gettysburg where a soldier’s bones were recently discovered

Lying as he died, 150 years ago, behind a tree;

A mighty Sioux Chief walks out of his tipi,

While his family peacefully sleeps,

He looks upon the blazing stars

(A commonality for all of humanity…

He has no idea, does he?);

A gladiator awaits his call

In the torch lit bowels of the Coliseum;

A final embrace frozen in Pompeii;

Socrates drinks the Hemlock…

The existential river

Feed by rain circles

While the people ebb and flow;

Our existence is Etch A Sketched 

By a God stuck in traffic.

 

I finally pull in to work,

Snap out of my epistemological trance,

Race into the building,

Hope to find my third 

Cup of coffee.

 Same God, Different Names

Deviled angels, angelic devils

And every iteration in between;

As eternal sorrow roots

Utter ecstasy,

Death shadows

Sunlit leaves.

Purity is a fool’s notion:

‘I want to be happy’

A dull, despair invoking refrain.

All is interconnected,

All is ambivalent, 

All is reincarnation;

All is one.

No one exists alone,

Despite our bleak beliefs.

Unbearable Injustice

 

Unbearable injustice

Wakes one at 5:16,

There will be no more sleep.

He tells them, “Focus on what you can control,

Accept what is beyond your control,”

But he can’t self counsel, 

He can only replay the video: 

Terrorized children beg ICE not to take their father,

Their pleaded cries, 'No, no, no…please don’t take my Daddy.’

Imposed agony ruins the petals,

Severs the spine, once in a lifetime cells

Permanently damaged. 

He can only think of his own father’s disappearance,

He’s in his mother’s arms,

Scared silent, powerless in the cradle of abuse. 

Born to monsters,

Why would humans create this horrible life,

Put on costumes, make up a narrative,

Torture powerless people,

Why would God watch,

Shouldn’t children be gardened,

Where is the life that should be,

Why did they create hell

Throw babies into it?

He can’t be here anymore,

But it’s the only place he can be. 

I’m in my mother’s arms crying

as I've always been.

No one hears me,

for I am merely an extension of her,

unseen

Shadow-clouds form your Body above me

Close my eyes,

Shadow-clouds form

Your body above me. 

“Come on,

Eternity awaits…

Swim with me.”

Off we run into the ocean.

We return tired,

A gentle yet gritty, temperate whisper

Forms your caress. 

Half asleep to the song:

Children laughing,

Gulls crying,

Ocean praying.

The sorrowful longing finally subsides

As all I am is this living dream.

 

Our Suffering

Our suffering has no purpose

(Thus, life is meaningless)

Unless we use it 

To connect to one another. 

Suffering is the ancient, ubiquitous 

Root system of humanity, 

And on the exactly opposing end 

Of suffering we find

The beautiful joy blossoms.

   

Those that haven’t the courage

To embrace their own suffering

Haven’t fortitudinous roots when tempests strike

Haven’t joyous blossoms when dawn awakes.

They are deadwood, driftwood

On the forest floor, on the deserted shore.

Mere firewood.

To grow courageous, embrace suffering.

To live free, realize you only control yourself. 

To be happy, love others as you love yourself. 

God is with us in our suffering,

We will not be spared, for it's part of life.

May we empathize with each other,

May we give what God has given us. 

 I never belong here,

Born in captivity,
Fanged, genetic ferocity,
Wasted circling purposeless, the caged savannah,
Intensely drab midwestern city--Omaha--zoo.

Always felt misborn,
Broken beasts reaching for Some life semblance,
How does one become, be
So misplaced?
Wildness bursting
Only to be struck, condemned.

Sometimes I want to die,
I’d rather my energy be
Dirt embraced.
A Black-eyed Susan
In Hanging basket
Adorning the Savannah cafe;
Above crying children
Beauty roaring.